Chimp , Donkey


Preface:A few weeks ago I visited my local pub. As I was approaching, the owner of the pub was seated outside and chatting to a man I had never seen before. After inviting me to join them, she introduced me to the man whose name was ‘Chimp.’ A short while later, she asked Chimp how his old buddy, ‘Donkey’ was doing… Naturally, with those two strange nicknames in mind, I couldn’t resist writing this story.***I bought my first home for an unbelievably low price. Although it needed a lot of work, it had incredible potential. According to an acquaintance of mine, who also happened to be a builder, the house was structurally very sound.Naturally, the bathrooms and kitchen in the place needed to be redone, but that would take time and would be attended to, as and when I could afford it. The roof needed to have several tiles replaced and the interior was in sore need of painting. I was convinced that I had made a great investment and confident that in time, my new home would turn out to be a very sound asset, which in the long run it turned out to be.My greatest priority, however, was to sort out the plumbing issues that faced me. I had received the name of a plumbing contractor named ‘Reliable Plumbers,’ from my builder acquaintance, who assured me that they were exceptionable. In all honesty, this name did not inspire me with great confidence but I kept an open mind. When I phoned Reliable Plumbers I was told that they could call that afternoon to quote me.The owner of Reliable Plumbers who popped in that afternoon left me stone cold. He was a ‘know it all’ who was totally unengaging. What particularly unsettled me was when he told me that he would not personally be overseeing the job, but would pop in from time to time, to check up on his workers. As promised, his quote arrived via email a couple of hours later. I had no idea whether it was reasonable or not, given my lack of plumbing knowledge. I, nonetheless, just couldn’t see myself awarding him the job.My dad had always advised that one should get two or more quotes and therefore, embarking of a project of this sort I took his advice.The other company I called, ‘Best Plumbers,’ could only visit me the next day.The following afternoon, Best Plumbers arrived to give their quote.When I opened the door I was completely taken aback. The man that stood before me resembled a hairy ape. He was stocky and had bowed legs. His heavy upper body was disproportionate to his frame and his head looked like it belonged to a isvecbahis primate. His brows were thick, his ears huge, and his eyes were brown and chimp-like.Next, when he introduced himself by his nickname; ‘Chimp,’ it took every fibre of my being not to burst out laughing.Totally intrigued, I welcomed him in and showed him what had to be done. I couldn’t stop staring at him and was mesmerized by his behaviour. He conducted himself like a mischievous schoolboy. He enthusiastically nattered in the most engaging manner. I can honestly say that I wasn’t initially attracted to him, but his bubbling personality completely won me over. As he strutted about with his arms crossed over his chest and his fingers wedged under his armpits, his thumbs kept tapping his shoulders. All in all, his personality wholeheartedly filled me with confidence.By the time Chimp had left, there was no doubt in my mind that he would be doing the job. His trustworthy approach had me caught, hook, line, and sinker. The further fact, that he and his partner did all their own work, was the finishing touch to his presentation.Unsurprisingly, when I received his quote a few hours later, as anticipated it was twenty-five percent less expensive than the other idiot who had quoted me. I immediately sent two emails, one of apology, and the other to Chimp confirming that he had been awarded the contract.After receiving his appreciative reply, he informed me that they could start on the two-day job the following Monday.I had a lot of leave due to me and my boss had no problem with me taking Monday and Tuesday off from work.Early on Monday, Chimp and his partner arrived to do their work. Another ‘shock’ materialized when Chimp introduced me to his partner, whose nickname was Donkey.‘Chimp and Donkey…’ I thought to myself. ‘Am I at the fuckin’ zoo?’ I also wondered how these guys got their ridiculous nicknames.Donkey was the complete opposite of Chimp. He was tall and lanky. Both men would never win a male beauty contest, let alone even qualify to enter one, but as was the case with Chimp, Donkey had an equally pleasant personality. He was a lot quieter than Chimp and it was obvious that Chimp was the frontman. Later, however, when they commenced working, it was clear that Donkey was no pushover and that they were definitely equal partners.Thankfully, I had a flatlet attached to my garage would serve as the ablution area for the next two days, with water and sewerage isolated from the main house. isveçbahis giriş My future plan was to eventually refurbish and upgrade it. In its current form, however, it was merely a storeroom with a toilet and basin.Shortly, the duo was soon hard at work and really getting stuck into the task at hand. During the morning I kept popping outside to observe their progress. By the minute, these two men who would normally never have raised the slightest bit of sexual interest from me were winning me over. Their exuberance and quirky demeanours were so refreshing, that I found myself totally captivated by them. I knew that these were straight boys and that my misplaced interest was inappropriate, but nevertheless, I allowed myself the pleasure of fantasying about a threesome with the two.As lunch approached I decided to pull out all the stops. If there is one thing that I can do incredibly well, even if I have to say so myself, it is to make incredible sandwiches. The platter of ham and beef sandwiches I prepared was exceptional.My only drawback was that I had no patio furniture at all. With them in dirty overalls and filthy rubber boots, I wasn’t exactly keen on inviting them into my house. As I did so very reluctantly, Chimp, however, came up with the perfect solution.“If you don’t mind, we’ll remove our dirty overalls and rubber boots, if you don’t mind seeing us in our underwear.”Nothing could have pleased me more and I happily agreed.At lunchtime, both guys entered the house after removing their overalls and rubber boots. Chimp was wearing boxer shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt and Donkey was wearing y-front briefs and an oversized t-shirt, which regrettably hung over his underpants obscuring the ‘big reveal’ that I, was anticipating.As they scoffed their sarmies and glugged their cool drinks, their charming infantile banter raged on. Chimp, naturally, did most of the talking. By now their puerile humour had totally begun to intoxicate me and I was nuts about these guys!Sadly, I also realized that I was living in a dream world. These were two heterosexual boys and I didn’t have a hope in hell of things going any further. I was having fun, nevertheless, and figured, ‘What the hell.’At four that afternoon as the two boys were slogging their hearts out, I was watching them as Chimp’s girlfriend phoned. From their conversation, I gleaned that Chimp and Donkey’s girlfriends were about to have a girl’s night out and that she had advised that the two of them isveçbahis yeni giriş should get takeaways en-route home. This information sent my mind into a spin.“Listen, guys, I have beers in the fridge and if you would like, I can make us a light supper,” I suggested.“You really don’t have to do that,” Chimp protested.“But I would love to,” I countered, before resuming, “After the incredible job you guys have done so far today, it would be an honour.”As they sheepishly nodded their consent, I added, “Besides, I have two three-quarter beds in my spare room, so you don’t even have to worry about drinking and driving.”Shortly afterward, I visited my local supermarket as excited as a horny teenager.When I returned the guys were finishing up for the day. I handed each one a facecloth and a hand towel, to freshen up in the flatlet.Once again only wearing underwear, they shortly joined me in the house. I had bought an assortment of cold and hot snacks, including sushi, for us to consume. With the food that needing heating in the oven, I placed the cold snacks on the table and handed each guy a beer.Both of them had ever eaten sushi, so I went about explaining how one blended the wasabi into the soya sauce, etcetera. Both looked very sceptical, but shortly they were scoffing the sushi like no one’s business, and there was a unanimous agreement that they would be introducing this delicacy to their girlfriends, hereafter.Both guys glugged their first beers down in no time and were soon on to their second one. When they finished their second beer, however, they mentioned that they would have to call it a halt.Again, I extended my offer about them using the spare room for the night. The two of them then exchanged glances as if waiting for the other one to take the plunge. After several seconds, they both smiled and shrugged, in a ‘what the fuck’ manner.After Chimp made a phone call to his girlfriend, it was clear that there was a consensus from all quarters.The two guys continued to snack as they each consumed two more beers. Our already convivial interplay also became more and more relaxed as this happened.With Chimp doing most of the talking, he told me that he and Donkey lived together in one house with both their girlfriends.“Isn’t that difficult at times?” I inquired.“No. We get on very well and have a lot of fun together,” Chimp countered, with what looked like a mischievous grin on his face. “We are all very open-minded,” he then concluded with a chuckle.I was very tempted to explore this subject but decided not to.With a slight lull in the conversation, I decided to delicately broach the question I had wanted to ask all day, about Donkey. In a roundabout way, however, I first focussed on Chimp.

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